“Murder! It’s Murder I tell ya!” screamed Patch.

“Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!”

The yells were coming from the Sea Rouge, deep at the bottom of the ocean, where the Pirates lived. It was Patch who seemed to be having some trouble with his beloved gold tooth.

He was yelling so loudly and wriggling about so much that Wallace could hardly have a look at what was troubling the captain.

“Hold still!” instructed Wallace as he poked around Patch’s mouth.

“It’s me lucky chomper laddie. It’s been giving me the biggest of griefs!” moaned Patch.

“Looks like you’re going to have to go to the Dentist.” said Wallace.

“No me matey! A Pirate I be and there will be no Dentists for me!” said Patch emphatically as he pulled his pirate hat over his eyes.

“What’s all the fussing about?” asked Woody, making his way down from the crows nest at the top of the Sea Rouge.

“The captain needs to go to the Dentist and he won’t hear of it.” replied Wallace.

Patch sat, arms folded, looking very upset.

“Aye the Dentist ya say!” said Woody, his eyes gleaming.

“The Sea Dogs have more treasure than I’ve seen in all me years! Tell me where the land lubber lives and I’ll take his treasure for me self!”

Patch sat up.

“Treasure ya say?” asked Patch, waiting to hear more.

“Aye Cap’n! Drawers full of rings and barrels o’ sweets. Maybe even toy cars! It’s a Pirate’s paradise the Dentist!”

Patch cocked his head and smiled.

“Wallace take me to the Dentist!” he instructed.

Patch looked very out of place at the Dentist. Why I think in all of history this would be the first time a Pirate had ever been in a Dentist’s office. He sat quietly, Wallace by his side, reading a magazine. A lady in a crisp white coat called his name and Patch followed her down the passage to sit in a special chair.

“Now sit back and relax!” said the lady, as she reclined the chair for Patch.

“Oh this is me dream chair!” said Patch as he gently tipped back in the chair.

“What else can it do?” he asked, quite excited at this unexpected prize.

The lady giggled and pulled a lever. The chair moved upward, Patch smiled.

“I need to get meself one of these thinger-magiggers.” Patch said through his toothy grin.

Dr Smookles peeped round the corner at Patch in the Dentist’s chair.

“Well what have we here?” he asked in a teasing voice as he entered the room where Patch was. He tried hard not to giggle, Patch really did look funny sitting in the Dentist’s chair.

“It’s me lucky chomper.” said Patch sadly.

“Well we’ll just have to pull it out then!” laughed Dr Smookles.

“It’s me gold tooth! Ye can’t have it!” shouted Patch getting ready to leave.

Dr Smookles pulled a ring from his drawer.

“Ah, remember if you’re good, you’ll get this!” he smiled.

The red stone in the ring mesmorised Patch.

“The sea dogs really do have treasure.” thought Patch, as he leaned back in his chair.

The tooth pulling was all over in a flash and quite painless too, but even with the ring in his hand and a bag full of sweets in the other Patch wasn’t happy about his gold tooth staying over at the Dentist.

“I’ll clean it and polish it up for you and you can fetch it next Thursday.” smiled Dr Smookles.

Patch wasn’t impressed, but said goodbye politely and even thanked the Doctor for his help, but he did have a plan, quite a sly one too!

That evening when Patch was alone in his captain’s chamber, he took out his small radio which he kept hidden beneath his bed, and tuned it to a very particular frequency.

“Come in Bandit, can you hear me?” asked Patch as he turned the knobs on the radio back and forth to radio his old friend, the Mexican Bandit. The two had become friends a long time ago when the Sea Rogue had still been sailing the seven seas surrounding Acersville.

“Ahhh, Captain Patches, my friend. It’s been a long time.” came a deep Mexican voice in reply.

“What brings you to radio for my services?”

“I have a job for ya laddie.” Said Patch and explained about how the dentist had taken his tooth and how he needed to steal it back.

‘Well as you know, you have definitely come to the right place! I am the Mexican Bandit after all!”

And so the two old friends made plans of how they were going to steal back Patch’s gold tooth.

The next evening the Mexican Bandit and Patch hid themselves close to the entrance of Dr Smookles Dentists’ office.

“Thanks for comin’ by on such short notice my friend.” said Patch thankfully.

“Aaahh, anything for an old friend and for a chance to steal something as valuable as a Pirate’s gold tooth!” smiled the Bandit.

And with that The Bandit pulled his striped poncho over his head and whisked his way toward the door, in a flash he was in and motioned to Patch to join him inside. Patch followed. The Dentists’s office was quite dark, Patch moved toward the light switch but the Bandit stopped him.

“No, no! We do not use the lights, unless you want to get caught by the police! Here use this!” said the Bandit as he handed Patch a torch. Patch switched it on and shone it around the dark room and there, in a corner, his golden tooth glinted back in the torch light.

“Me lucky chomper!” whispered Patch.

The Bandit grabbed the tooth and was just about to whisk his way out of the door, when Patch stopped him.

“There’s something else I want too laddie.” said the captain, with a sly smile as he pointed toward the dentist’s chair.

The Bandit smiled and took a low bow and set to work at stealing the chair.

The next morning on the Sea Rogue, Wallace noticed a rather happy Patch sitting in a Dentist’s chair out on the main deck.

“And just where did you get that?” he asked.

“It was me gift for being good at the Dentist.” replied Patch.

Wallace shook his head.

As for Dr Smookles, he had understood that Patch would be back for his tooth, any Pirate that was worth his rum would have done the exact same thing. And as for the chair? Dr Smookles smiled as he reached for a catalogue, it was time for a new one anyway!

© 2009 Ingrid Holtshausen. All rights reserved.

It all began when Wallace found an old treasure map, stuck to the bottom of one of Wusky’s rum barrels as they rolled it from the basement into his Beach Cabana Café. Woody’s eyes gleamed at the thought of finding treasure.

“How will we find the treasure?” asked Wusky excitedly, he’d never gone on a treasure hunt before.
“It’s simple laddie,” replied Patch, “All we need do is build us a mighty Pirate ship and go and fetch it and bring it back here!”
“We won’t be doing any plundering will we?” asked Wusky cautiously.
Patch laughed a hearty laugh, “None at all I promise ye that lad.” Patch crossed his heart.
“Okay then what are we waiting for?” exclaimed Wusky, picking up his hammer.

Patch drew up the plans for the building of the ship and like one man, Woody, Wallace, Wusky and Patch began to build. When they had finished they stood back to admire their handy work.
“What should we call her?” asked Wallace.
“As the newest member of our Piratey crew, let Wusky have the honour in naming the ship.” Replied Patch.
“How about …” Wusky thought aloud, “The Sea Mermaid?”
“Aye! That’ll do!” smiled Patch approvingly.

So they all boarded their new Pirate ship, raised their flag and set sail. Woody climbed to the top of the mast and sat in the crow’s nest with his telescope. It was his job to be the look out. Wallace took his mop and began to swab the deck. Patch took his place at the bridge of the ship as ship’s captain.
“Wallace, bring me that map of yours ya sea dog!” yelled Patch.
“Aye Cap’n!” replied Wallace.
“Nothing like being out to sea, hey Wusky?” said Patch, the wind blowing through his beard.

They sailed for a while, while Patch studied the treasure map. He was then interrupted by a shout from Woody.
“Land ho!” he cried.
Wallace took out his binoculars and looked, sure enough, there it was a huge island. The Pirates and Wusky danced with glee.
“We found her lads!” shouted Patch.
As the Sea Mermaid neared the island, Patch gave the orders.
“Trim the sails and lower the anchor!” he barked.
“Aye, aye Cap’n!” said his crew.

They set down the anchor and the ship swayed gently in the tide. Patch looked at the treasure map.
“Yup, it’s this island for sure Mateys!”
So they took their shovels, got off the ship and waded through the water until they reached the beach.
“X would be marking the spot now.” Explained Patch.
Wusky grinned, Woody’s eyes glinted. They could smell the treasure!

“The map says to take twenty paces to the right.” Instructed Patch. The Loopie pirates followed Patches hand movements and took twenty paces in the direction he was pointing.
“Now it says to take fifty paces towards the Coconut Trees.” Wallace counted out the steps until they were right underneath the biggest tree.
“Now she says ta dig boys! X is where me treasure lies!”
The Loopies were so excited, they began digging ferociously. Sand flew in all directions, until … THUD!

“We’ve found her!” shouted Woody in glee as his shovel hit the chest.
“We sure have!” smiled Wallace, who was proud to have found the map in the first place. They dusted the sand off of the chest and opened the rusty lock with one of Woody’s knives. The chest creeked open, the Pirates danced and Wusky howled, the chest was filled to the brim with chocolate dog biscuits!

They shouted and laughed and threw sand into the air. Wusky did a jig, this was his first treasure he had ever found! Well if you don’t count Patch, Woody and Wallace that is! The Pirates excitedly picked up their prize and loaded it onto their ship. They sailed back to Acersville singing and drinking Rum all the way home!

When they got back, other Loopies from Acersville excitedly ran out to meet them. When the Pirates saw all of the Loopies they decided to share their treasure. The Loopies were delighted! They all enjoyed their shared treasure of chocolate dog biscuits with glasses of milk at Wusky’s Beach Cabana Café, listening to the pirates telling their piratey stories.

Surely these were the kindest Pirates that had ever lived!
Thank you Wusky, Woody, Wallace and Patch!

© 2007 Ingrid Holtshausen. All Rights Reserved.

Download “A Piratey Adventure” PDF Document

The smells of Christmas cookies wafted through the air.
“I can’t wait to get to Granny’s tonight to celebrate Christmas Eve!” smiled Sherbet as she licked the cookie icing off her finger.

“Me neither!” replied her brother wrapping another present.
It was Loopie Christmas tradition to go to Granny’s house on Christmas Eve, have a huge dinner, open presents and spend time visiting with all the Loopies of Acersville.

“Blast!” said Patch.
“I canno’ get this present wrapped Mateys!”
Mango and Sherbet giggled. They had agreed to teach the Pirates about Christmas traditions in Acersville and this included sessions in “How to wrap presents” and “Baking Christmas cookies”.
“Here, let’s try again.” said Mango handing Patch a fresh piece of Gift Wrap and a new ribbon.
“Aaaah!” screamed Patch about to pull his hair out with frustration!
“No more lad, enough is enough, Pirates were made to plunder things, not to be giving gifts at Christmas time!”
Wallace sniffed his fresh batch of cookies as he lifted them carefully out of the oven.
“Come on Captain, it’s not so bad, look I made Santa cookies just for you!”
“Aye Captain, and they taste mighty fine too!” said Woody munching a leg off of his Santa cookie.
Patch scowled. He was clearly not impressed.
“Come on, let’s get a bit of fresh air and try something new shall we?” offered Mango, he had an idea. So Patch and Mango left the cottage, leaving Wallace, Woody and Sherbet to bake and gift wrap to their hearts content!

Rounding the bend they got to Tubblie’s house. Tubblie was home, you could tell by the naughty giggles that were coming from his garden! Mango smiled at Patch, motioning him to open Tubblie’s gate. Patch was a little confused but welcomed the change in plans, he was adamant never to gift wrap another present ever again in his life and Santa cookies … well lets just say he would eat them, but not bake them!

Tubblie’s gate creaked, sending a bucket full of water tumbling down and emptying itself over Patch!
“Arg!” mumbled Patch who was soaked right through.
“Oops!” winced Mango, who wasn’t deliberately trying to frustrate the all ready on-edge Pirate Captain.
“I forgot about Tubblie’s doorbell!”
“Aaaah! Visitors!” exclaimed Tubblie as he came forward to greet them. He was the practical joker of Acersville so it made sense that his house would be rigged with all sorts of unexpected surprises!
“What brings you here on this fine, fine Christmas Eve!” Tubblie just sounded naughty. He was definitely up to something, just as Mango had suspected.
“Sherbet and I have offered to teach the Pirates about our Christmas traditions here in Acersville.” replied Mango.
“I was wondering if you would be able to offer any help?”
Tubblie grinned.
“Can you keep a secret?” he asked, his eyes dancing with anticipation to share something he’d obviously been keeping to himself all afternoon.
“Aye lad, you can trust old Patch, I keep my word.”
Mango nodded in agreement.
“Well alright then, follow me!” Tubblie led them around the corner towards the back of the garden. He pointed towards his Brandy Bottle treasure with great delight and grinned with glee.

“Aren’t ye a little on the young side to be taking up drinking laddie?” asked Patch looking a little worried.
Mango only grinned, waiting for Tubblie’s explanation.
“My dear Patch, Brandy isn’t just for drinking at Christmas time here in Acersville.” said Tubblie walking over and placing his arm around Patch’s shoulder.
“We use it to make trifle and Christmas pudding too!”

Mango’s eye lit up. Everyone in Acersville knew that Granny would begin making her special trifle and plum pudding early in the morning for their annual Christmas Dinner that night. It was a Loopie tradition for Granny to light the Plum pudding after dinner and bring it into the dinning room in all its flaming glory!
“And because this is your first Christmas in Acersville, I’ve taken it upon myself to enhance the Christmas Festivities this year. And that my friends; is how this specific Brandy bottle fits in!” Tubblie’s eyes danced once more.

“But how?” asked Mango in amazement.
“I stole it from Granny!” Tubblie confessed and then broke out into fits of laughter.
“But now how is Granny supposed to light the Plum pudding without any Brandy?” asked Mango crossly. The Loopies would be very disappointed if Tubblie had gone and ruined the very high light of Christmas Eve in Acersville! No flaming pudding? What a disaster that would be!
“You’ll see! You’ll soon see!” Tubblie just giggled all the more and ushered them out of the gate.

Soon it was time to go to Granny’s house for the Christmas dinner. The Loopies got themselves washed and dressed and headed off armed with colourful presents and enough ice-cream to sink a small ship!
“Come in, come in!” smiled Granny in her most welcoming voice. She seated the Loopies at the table and proceeded to serve the Christmas food. After the Loopies had finished eating they looked at Granny expectantly for the grand finale of the evening!
“Should we eat the pudding before we open the presents?” asked Granny as she usually did each year, just to built a little more onto the already mounting anticipation.
“Yes!” grinned the Loopies, hardly able to contain their excitement.
It was then that Mango darted a glaring scowl in Tubblie’s direction!
“Well then I’ll go and get it.”
“Let me help you Granny.” said the naughty Tubblie grinning back at Mango.
“Why thank you Tubblie, that is very kind of you.” She said and the two of them headed into the kitchen.
“Granny, I was thinking, wouldn’t it be more spectacular this year, especially for the Pirates, if you would pour the Brandy over the pudding at the table and then light it?”
“Well, I’ve never thought of doing it that way before.” said Granny a little surprised.
“But alright Tubblie, if you think it would make it more spectacular this year, okay then.”

So Granny and Tubblie walked back out of the kitchen armed with a not so flaming pudding and a very suspicious looking Brandy bottle, well at least it looked that way to Patch, who recognized it as the same one he’d seen in Tubblie’s garden that afternoon. Mango almost had a heart attack, but Tubblie motioned him to keep quiet and did something very un-Tubblie like.
“This year I have taken it upon myself to make sure that the Christmas Festivities are extra special!” he explained. “Please would you all put on these special shades before Granny lights the pudding to see what I have planned.”
Tubblie began handing out sunglasses to each of the Loopies present and then handed Granny his Brandy Bottle, which didn’t contain Brandy at all, but Lighter Fluid! He then turned down the lights.

Granny poured the contents of the bottle all over the pudding until it was soaked through. She then took a match and lit the pudding. The pudding glowed with all it’s might as strong as a flame from a blow torch, the Loopies sat back in awe and watched with shielded eyes as the pudding continued to burn and burn. First in brilliant white, then fading to orange and then flickering to yellow, until the lighter fluid had been burnt up and the flames stopped. Of course the pudding was burnt to a crisp and most of the Loopies had singed their eyebrows from the incredible heat, but they all agreed that sacrificing the pudding was a small price to pay for such an incredible fire show.

Later that evening once all the presents had been opened and all the ice-cream had been eaten, the Loopies sat back and thought about what Tubblie’s flaming pudding had taught them. They realized that Christmas was not about their traditions or about basking in the light of a flaming Christmas pudding on Christmas Eve, but about celebrating and remembering the light of a star that once shone on top of a stable one cold night in Bethlehem, marking the birth place of a Mighty King.

The Loopies then folded their Christmas paper, collected their presents and kissed Granny goodnight. As they left Granny’s house they starred up at the sky, determined to find the star that had lit the path to where Jesus lay so many years ago. Rumour has it that Mango was the first to spot it! But that’s another story. One we’ll have to save for next year!

Click here for Story 12 – Part 2 of a Loopie Christmas!

© 2007 Ingrid Holtshausen. All Rights Reserved.