“Murder! It’s Murder I tell ya!” screamed Patch.

“Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!”

The yells were coming from the Sea Rouge, deep at the bottom of the ocean, where the Pirates lived. It was Patch who seemed to be having some trouble with his beloved gold tooth.

He was yelling so loudly and wriggling about so much that Wallace could hardly have a look at what was troubling the captain.

“Hold still!” instructed Wallace as he poked around Patch’s mouth.

“It’s me lucky chomper laddie. It’s been giving me the biggest of griefs!” moaned Patch.

“Looks like you’re going to have to go to the Dentist.” said Wallace.

“No me matey! A Pirate I be and there will be no Dentists for me!” said Patch emphatically as he pulled his pirate hat over his eyes.

“What’s all the fussing about?” asked Woody, making his way down from the crows nest at the top of the Sea Rouge.

“The captain needs to go to the Dentist and he won’t hear of it.” replied Wallace.

Patch sat, arms folded, looking very upset.

“Aye the Dentist ya say!” said Woody, his eyes gleaming.

“The Sea Dogs have more treasure than I’ve seen in all me years! Tell me where the land lubber lives and I’ll take his treasure for me self!”

Patch sat up.

“Treasure ya say?” asked Patch, waiting to hear more.

“Aye Cap’n! Drawers full of rings and barrels o’ sweets. Maybe even toy cars! It’s a Pirate’s paradise the Dentist!”

Patch cocked his head and smiled.

“Wallace take me to the Dentist!” he instructed.

Patch looked very out of place at the Dentist. Why I think in all of history this would be the first time a Pirate had ever been in a Dentist’s office. He sat quietly, Wallace by his side, reading a magazine. A lady in a crisp white coat called his name and Patch followed her down the passage to sit in a special chair.

“Now sit back and relax!” said the lady, as she reclined the chair for Patch.

“Oh this is me dream chair!” said Patch as he gently tipped back in the chair.

“What else can it do?” he asked, quite excited at this unexpected prize.

The lady giggled and pulled a lever. The chair moved upward, Patch smiled.

“I need to get meself one of these thinger-magiggers.” Patch said through his toothy grin.

Dr Smookles peeped round the corner at Patch in the Dentist’s chair.

“Well what have we here?” he asked in a teasing voice as he entered the room where Patch was. He tried hard not to giggle, Patch really did look funny sitting in the Dentist’s chair.

“It’s me lucky chomper.” said Patch sadly.

“Well we’ll just have to pull it out then!” laughed Dr Smookles.

“It’s me gold tooth! Ye can’t have it!” shouted Patch getting ready to leave.

Dr Smookles pulled a ring from his drawer.

“Ah, remember if you’re good, you’ll get this!” he smiled.

The red stone in the ring mesmorised Patch.

“The sea dogs really do have treasure.” thought Patch, as he leaned back in his chair.

The tooth pulling was all over in a flash and quite painless too, but even with the ring in his hand and a bag full of sweets in the other Patch wasn’t happy about his gold tooth staying over at the Dentist.

“I’ll clean it and polish it up for you and you can fetch it next Thursday.” smiled Dr Smookles.

Patch wasn’t impressed, but said goodbye politely and even thanked the Doctor for his help, but he did have a plan, quite a sly one too!

That evening when Patch was alone in his captain’s chamber, he took out his small radio which he kept hidden beneath his bed, and tuned it to a very particular frequency.

“Come in Bandit, can you hear me?” asked Patch as he turned the knobs on the radio back and forth to radio his old friend, the Mexican Bandit. The two had become friends a long time ago when the Sea Rogue had still been sailing the seven seas surrounding Acersville.

“Ahhh, Captain Patches, my friend. It’s been a long time.” came a deep Mexican voice in reply.

“What brings you to radio for my services?”

“I have a job for ya laddie.” Said Patch and explained about how the dentist had taken his tooth and how he needed to steal it back.

‘Well as you know, you have definitely come to the right place! I am the Mexican Bandit after all!”

And so the two old friends made plans of how they were going to steal back Patch’s gold tooth.

The next evening the Mexican Bandit and Patch hid themselves close to the entrance of Dr Smookles Dentists’ office.

“Thanks for comin’ by on such short notice my friend.” said Patch thankfully.

“Aaahh, anything for an old friend and for a chance to steal something as valuable as a Pirate’s gold tooth!” smiled the Bandit.

And with that The Bandit pulled his striped poncho over his head and whisked his way toward the door, in a flash he was in and motioned to Patch to join him inside. Patch followed. The Dentists’s office was quite dark, Patch moved toward the light switch but the Bandit stopped him.

“No, no! We do not use the lights, unless you want to get caught by the police! Here use this!” said the Bandit as he handed Patch a torch. Patch switched it on and shone it around the dark room and there, in a corner, his golden tooth glinted back in the torch light.

“Me lucky chomper!” whispered Patch.

The Bandit grabbed the tooth and was just about to whisk his way out of the door, when Patch stopped him.

“There’s something else I want too laddie.” said the captain, with a sly smile as he pointed toward the dentist’s chair.

The Bandit smiled and took a low bow and set to work at stealing the chair.

The next morning on the Sea Rogue, Wallace noticed a rather happy Patch sitting in a Dentist’s chair out on the main deck.

“And just where did you get that?” he asked.

“It was me gift for being good at the Dentist.” replied Patch.

Wallace shook his head.

As for Dr Smookles, he had understood that Patch would be back for his tooth, any Pirate that was worth his rum would have done the exact same thing. And as for the chair? Dr Smookles smiled as he reached for a catalogue, it was time for a new one anyway!

© 2009 Ingrid Holtshausen. All rights reserved.

It all began when Wallace found an old treasure map, stuck to the bottom of one of Wusky’s rum barrels as they rolled it from the basement into his Beach Cabana Café. Woody’s eyes gleamed at the thought of finding treasure.

“How will we find the treasure?” asked Wusky excitedly, he’d never gone on a treasure hunt before.
“It’s simple laddie,” replied Patch, “All we need do is build us a mighty Pirate ship and go and fetch it and bring it back here!”
“We won’t be doing any plundering will we?” asked Wusky cautiously.
Patch laughed a hearty laugh, “None at all I promise ye that lad.” Patch crossed his heart.
“Okay then what are we waiting for?” exclaimed Wusky, picking up his hammer.

Patch drew up the plans for the building of the ship and like one man, Woody, Wallace, Wusky and Patch began to build. When they had finished they stood back to admire their handy work.
“What should we call her?” asked Wallace.
“As the newest member of our Piratey crew, let Wusky have the honour in naming the ship.” Replied Patch.
“How about …” Wusky thought aloud, “The Sea Mermaid?”
“Aye! That’ll do!” smiled Patch approvingly.

So they all boarded their new Pirate ship, raised their flag and set sail. Woody climbed to the top of the mast and sat in the crow’s nest with his telescope. It was his job to be the look out. Wallace took his mop and began to swab the deck. Patch took his place at the bridge of the ship as ship’s captain.
“Wallace, bring me that map of yours ya sea dog!” yelled Patch.
“Aye Cap’n!” replied Wallace.
“Nothing like being out to sea, hey Wusky?” said Patch, the wind blowing through his beard.

They sailed for a while, while Patch studied the treasure map. He was then interrupted by a shout from Woody.
“Land ho!” he cried.
Wallace took out his binoculars and looked, sure enough, there it was a huge island. The Pirates and Wusky danced with glee.
“We found her lads!” shouted Patch.
As the Sea Mermaid neared the island, Patch gave the orders.
“Trim the sails and lower the anchor!” he barked.
“Aye, aye Cap’n!” said his crew.

They set down the anchor and the ship swayed gently in the tide. Patch looked at the treasure map.
“Yup, it’s this island for sure Mateys!”
So they took their shovels, got off the ship and waded through the water until they reached the beach.
“X would be marking the spot now.” Explained Patch.
Wusky grinned, Woody’s eyes glinted. They could smell the treasure!

“The map says to take twenty paces to the right.” Instructed Patch. The Loopie pirates followed Patches hand movements and took twenty paces in the direction he was pointing.
“Now it says to take fifty paces towards the Coconut Trees.” Wallace counted out the steps until they were right underneath the biggest tree.
“Now she says ta dig boys! X is where me treasure lies!”
The Loopies were so excited, they began digging ferociously. Sand flew in all directions, until … THUD!

“We’ve found her!” shouted Woody in glee as his shovel hit the chest.
“We sure have!” smiled Wallace, who was proud to have found the map in the first place. They dusted the sand off of the chest and opened the rusty lock with one of Woody’s knives. The chest creeked open, the Pirates danced and Wusky howled, the chest was filled to the brim with chocolate dog biscuits!

They shouted and laughed and threw sand into the air. Wusky did a jig, this was his first treasure he had ever found! Well if you don’t count Patch, Woody and Wallace that is! The Pirates excitedly picked up their prize and loaded it onto their ship. They sailed back to Acersville singing and drinking Rum all the way home!

When they got back, other Loopies from Acersville excitedly ran out to meet them. When the Pirates saw all of the Loopies they decided to share their treasure. The Loopies were delighted! They all enjoyed their shared treasure of chocolate dog biscuits with glasses of milk at Wusky’s Beach Cabana Café, listening to the pirates telling their piratey stories.

Surely these were the kindest Pirates that had ever lived!
Thank you Wusky, Woody, Wallace and Patch!

© 2007 Ingrid Holtshausen. All Rights Reserved.

Download “A Piratey Adventure” PDF Document

The pages of Wusky’s book rustled as he scratched in it with his blunt pencil. “I’ve always wanted to be a swash buckler!” Wusky wrote. He was writing in his diary. Wusky had been the Beach Cabana Café owner since he was old enough to own it!

And everyday, he would look out over the ocean and imagine what it would be like to live on a ship.

“I don’t know what a swash buckler is,” he continued, “but I bet he could buckle his shoes faster than anyone I’ve ever met!” Wusky closed his diary and sighed. The sea looked so blue and inviting and it was the hottest it had ever been in Acersville. The kind of hot that makes your ice-cream melt before you even get your first lick! Wusky sighed again.

“That’s it!” he decided out loud, “ It’s way too hot to work today!” So he put a sign on the Beach Café door that read: GONE SWIMMING.

The sea was so cool and refreshing that Wusky swam deeper and deeper until he could hardly see the beach. With nowhere else to go but down, he decided to see if he could touch the bottom of the seabed.

“Mmmm, a seabed,” thought Wusky, “I wonder if it’s comfortable?” He chuckled to himself as he dived deeper. As he dived, he bumped into something.
“Hey! Watch where you’re going mister!” It was a yellow fish.
“I’m sorry about that. I was on my way down to the seabed and didn’t see you!”
“Don’t you mean the Sea Rogue?” asked the yellow fish.
“What’s a Sea Rogue?” asked Wusky excitedly, forgetting about the seabed.
“Come on, I’ll show you.”

The little yellow fish swam deeper, with Wusky following close behind. Eventually they reached a sunken ship. “There it is!” announced the fish proudly, “the Sea Rogue.”
Wusky tingled with excitement.
“Can we have a closer look?” Wusky asked.
“If you’re brave enough.” replied the fish, “The Sea Rogue is a pirate ship!”
“Oh wow! Today is my lucky day!” said Wusky, trying not to swallow too much water in all his excitement.

Wusky swam closer to get a better look.
”Arg, what have we here Matey’s?” came the gruff sound of a pirate’s voice. Wusky gulped. The pirate that had notice him looked very fierce and his eye patch made him look even more dangerous.
“Looks like a land lubber to me!” replied another pirate. This one had a wooden leg.
“Arg, what’s yur name lad?” asked the pirate with the patch.
“The name’s Wusky.” replied Wusky bravely. “You’ve got yourselves quite a home here!”
“A home! Not exactly laddie. A hideout’s more like it!” The other pirates chortled to themselves.
“A hideout?” asked Wusky curiously.
“A hideout from those scurvy critters we stole all this booty from.” said Patch, pointing to a pile of dog biscuits. Wusky’s mouth watered.
“Scurvy critters?” he asked, very interested to learn more about these ‘critters’.
“What mean ye, repeating everything I say? Get yur own lines ya beach barnacle!”
“Sorry,” replied Wusky, “It’s not everyday you find undersea pirates.”
“That’s cuz we weren’t meant to be found, ya pesky seagull! I oughta take yur belt buckle for what you’ve done!” said Patch, furiously.
“Excuse Patch,” said the third pirate Loopie, “He be angry because of his eye.”
“Quite a good eye too, might I add!” huffed Patch.

“The name’s Wallace” said the third pirate. “Don’t get too much land visitor’s down here.”
“Tell us now,” interrupted the pirate with the wooden leg, “What be ye looking for down here anyhow?” he had a mysterious gleam in his eye.
“Don’t worry Peggy, I’m sure he’s not after your treasure!” replied Wallace.
“Blast ye scurvy dog!” he shouted, “Call me by that name again and I’ll gut ya, with me boot buckle!” and he stormed off with Patch to the other side of the ship.

“Forgive Woody and Patch,” Wallace apologized, “Now tell me, what is it that brings you down here?”
Wusky explained how he had wanted to be a swashbuckler for as long as he could remember; and how he had always wanted to live on a ship.
“A swashbuckler you say?” grinned Wallace, “Why I’ve had my fair share of swashbuckling in my day! What do you say we have a go?” Wallace threw Wusky a sword.
“Come on old chap let’s see what you’ve got!”
The two of them began sword fighting and surprisingly Wusky was quite the professional with a sword in his hand. So much so that Woody and Patch forgot to be angry and began cheering them.
Wusky managed to get Wallace’s sword out of his hand with a mighty CLANG.
“Jolly good!” exclaimed Wallace panting, “A worthy opponent I must say!” The two friends shook hands.

“Aye laddie, yur pretty good with a sword in ya hand! What tis it ya do for a livin’?” asked Patch, cracking a smile. Wusky explained that he owned the Beach Cabana Café on Brenton Beach.
“Aye a barman, would ya believe it! Got any Rum?” asked Woody, his eyes widening.
“All the Rum you can drink and more!”
“All the Rum we can drink? What are we waitin’ for lads?” exclaimed Patch.
So the pirates decided to return to the surface of the sea with Wusky and live in Acersville. Wusky taught the pirates how to be good mannered waiters in his Beach Café and in return the pirates taught Wusky some pirate songs and how to swab the deck.

“Well diary…” wrote Wusky as he stared across the ocean at the setting sun. “Today I found out what a swashbuckler does. But I found something else too, three new friends!” Wusky closed his diary and smiled. A mighty fine day it had been and a mighty fine discovery it had been too!

© 2006 Ingrid Holtshausen. All Rights Reserved.